Food Reviews.

Kenneth Webber
30 min readSep 30, 2017

I work from home, and that often means I am filling my lunch day with a plethora of easy to prepare snacks, and off the counter beverages — this is an ongoing article as I continue to explore what options exist out there, and what you should really be buying.

Rating (how does it taste)— Out of 10.
Value (is it worth the price) —Terrible/Poor/Adequate/Good/Incredible
Verdict (my product suggestion) — Avoid/Try Once/Stock It
Comments: What the product is like, what my thoughts are.

Avery’s Beverages

Swamp Juice Soda
Rating: 3/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Bad. Just bad. Don’t do it.

Bang

Cookies and Cream Coffee
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: I think there is enough here to appeal to both coffee lovers and non. Definitely a sweet drink, but I think it works to its advantage in basically not just being chocolate flavored coffee.

Sour Heads
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: I think this is on par or slightly better to the Raze Gummy Worms flavor. Just an all around good sour apple taste. Strong energy drink note though.

Boylan

Birch Beer
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Try It
Comments: Probably the best birch beer I have had to date, but I don’t think it’s so great that it will appeal to everyone. Boylan’s bottles are high quality, and they seem to capture the essence of the drinks they make.

Black Cherry
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: This is certainly a bitter black cherry drink, but it’s one of the more pleasant mixes I’ve tasted. In my opinion this is inferior to the IBC Black Cherry, but it’s definitely a close second. If you are a fan of black cherry then this might be the one you’re looking for.

Cane Cola
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: honestly this is worse than most generic canned colas I have tasted. Very lacking in flavor. Disappointed.

Cream Soda
Rating: 10/10 — Value: Incredible — Verdict: Stock It
Comments: Hands down the best cream soda I have ever tasted. Seriously it’s just wonderful in every way.

Ginger Ale
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Admittedly I’m not a huge fan of ginger ale, but I know enough about it to know that this isn’t a premium product. I had some secondary testers who are big ginger ale drinkers and they agreed. Just move on to other horizons.

Root Beer: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: In my opinion this is like a step down from IBC’s bottled root beer. Just go for that instead if this is the flavor of Root Beer you’re looking for. It’s tasty to drink, but wouldn’t be ideal for Root Beer Float.

Shirley Temple — 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: For something that is a limited release from Boylan I’m really disappointed to say that it sounds like a good idea in this case. They really disappointed me here. Is it a Shirley Temple? Yes. Is it good? It’s all right, but don’t call me Shirley.

Bruce Cost

Ginger Ale Unfiltered
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Try It
Comments: My opinions of Ginger Ale in general are rather neutral. I have found some Ginger Ales I can tolerate, but largely it just depends on the experience. This ginger ale reminds me of a kid’s lemonade stand for whatever that’s worth. We’re talking the same sort of natural unprocessed taste, but also I don’t exactly get excited about homemade lemonade produced by a child.

Coolhaus

Ice Cream Truck Double Chocolate Cookies & Cream Ice Cream Sandwich
Rating: 6/10 — Value: 4/10 — Verdict — Avoid
Comments: It’s all right, but it wasn’t even worth the price when it was buy one get one. Hard pass.

DAD’s

Old Fashioned Root Beer (Caffeine Free)
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict — Avoid
Comments:Who cares if your product is caffeine free if it doesn’t taste like it’s supposed to and is ultimately a more expensive inferior result. Would not drink again if it were given to me for free.

Dad-Gum-It

Cream Butterscotch
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is just a poorly made butterscotch soda. The label is barely attached, and there is a rather bad aftertaste to an already underwhelming drink. Just save yourself the money and skip it.

Death Valley

Root Beer
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid It
Comments: This is just a bad and disappointing root beer with a poor after taste. The tag line is “a taste of the old west” and if that’s true then no wonder so many cowboys preferred real beer instead.

DeMets

Turtles
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: This is a nice little stack. Somewhat pricey for three pieces, but overall for what I would consider low quality chocolate it’s low quality chocolate executed masterfully.

Dos Amigos

Burros Churros Churro Soda
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is essentially the Ozark Mountain Butterbeer but strictly worse in every way.

Jorge’s Horchata Horchata Soda
Rating: 2/10 — Value: Terrible — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Absolutely repulsive. I was physically repulsed by it.

Rosa’s Arroz Con Leche Sweet Rice Soda
Rating: 2/10 — Value: Terrible — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Some of the grossest shit I have ever drank.

Fluids Soda Co.

Green Cooler
Rating: 3/10 — Value: Terrible — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is just a seriously bad artificial tasting lime soda. Not good. Don’t drink it. It tastes like you would think from the logo.

Radiant Red
Rating: 4/10 — Value: Terrible — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is just a cheap gross cherry soda. Down the drain it went.

Frostie

Vanilla Root Beer
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try Once
Comments: This basically tastes like an A&W root beer that has had creme soda poured into it. It’s really not like a vanilla root beer at all, as it really just takes equally like its two distinct counterparts.

Girl Scouts of America

Savannah Smiles
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try Once
Comments: The coating on this cookie doesn’t bring much in the way of flavor, and the texture is rather dry, but the lemon flavor is fresh tasting and pleasant. If you find yourself a fan of lemon then I think this is worth a try for you, otherwise I would steer clear.

Godiva

Belgium 1926 Masterpieces: Milk Chocolate Caramel Lion of Belgium
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Try Once
Comments: The quantity certainly wasn’t fitting of the price. This feels like they are charging you for the convenience of individually packed chocolate bites. This just tastes like a standard chocolate with a standard caramel filling. Nothing that is truthfully noteworthy.

Gross Gus’s

Bloody Nose
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: This is just a decent quality cherry soda. It’s what a regular cherry soda should taste like, but unfortunately the flavors always tend to be artificial tasting and lackluster. Not so with Bloody Nose — it tastes fruity, and vibrant. Good stuff.

Dinosaur Dung
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comment: Just don’t bother. It isn’t a good chocolate taste. It’s another failed attempt at trying to take chocolate and convert it into a drinkable soda format. Simply not good.

Dragon Drool (PF)
Rating: 10/10 — Value: Incredible — Verdict: Stock It
Comments: This was a real treat to taste and I was absolutely blown away. Dragon Drool has masterfully captured the taste of black licorice in a soda. The best of both worlds are represented here. It’s not perfect, but it’s damn near close.

Pimple Pop
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is clearly made from the same soda base as dragon drool, and then they tried to mix some cream soda and marshmallow flavoring in. The base is overpowering and overall they fail to deliver on the flavor. Bad run.

Hubert’s Lemonade

Blueberry Lemonade
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: come of an “all natural” blueberry flavor in that it’s very light, but the lemonade here is like true to form “made at home” little girl lemonade stand style, in that it’s not particularly flavorful and feels like it’s incomplete.

Watermelon Lemonade
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: The watermelon flavor pulls through more than some of the other Hubert lemonade, but it’s still not an impressive lemonade flavor wise.

Jackson Hole Soda

Cream Soda
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: another poor fruity cream soda attempt. Just skip it.

South Fork Strawberry Rhubarb
Rating: 3/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This really just tastes like a bad artificial strawberry soda with absolutely no indication of Rhubarb at all. Seriously disappointing.

Joby Joe’s

Root Beer Float
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: It’s just an ok root beer mixed with a decent cream soda. Nothing worth experiencing. Nothing to be gained from the experience. Isn’t what it says it is but certainly not a bad drink. It’s an ok effort.

Kiss Army

Root Beer (Loud and Proud)
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: It’s all right. About what you’d expect from what is clearly a brand grab. It’s a very bland root beer with a flat after taste. Nothing remarkable.

Lester’s Fixins

Cucumber Soda
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: If for no other reason you should try this to see how accurate this is towards capturing the flavor of a cucumber in a drinkable soda format. I didn’t finish even half the bottle, but it really does taste like cucumber.

Maple Syrup Soda
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: This is definitely more of a novelty soda, and not one that I could drink even infrequently, but I was pleasantly surprised by both the smoothness and the flavor. This is a great drink to break out and share with someone who has never had one. A surprising treat.

Peanut Butter & Jelly Soda
Rating: 2/10 — Value: Terrible — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Tastes nothing like peanut butter and nothing like jelly. Absolutely disgusting.

Pumpkin Pie Soda
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is really more of a pumpkin spice soda rather than a pumpkin pie soda, and while the spice flavor isn’t the worst thing in the world it doesn’t really do well as a soda, and fails miserably at what it set out to achieve.

Macfuddy

Pepper Elixir
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: This is most similarly described as a Doctor Pepper, but that is ultimately not a fair and complete comparison. It’s spicier than its named counterpart, and actually gives a strong pepper (not peppermint) kick. I wouldn’t drink this regularly, but it’s cool as an example of what sorts of thing a soda can accomplish.

Marie Calendar

Kentucky Inspired Turkey and Bacon Bowl
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Flavors are fairly bland, but the consistency is good. The stuffing is quite nice, but it just fails at delivery a turkey experience, and the meat element just comes off like a mushy stuffing flavored meat.

New Orleans Style Chicken Alfredo Bowl
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Very run of the mill slightly overpriced Alfredo meal. Nothing unique or interesting other than the container. Just skip it.

Mars

M&Ms Milk Chocolate Bar
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: It’s just an ok chocolate bar that doesn’t benefit from the addition of M&Ms, which are really just the same chocolate but coated in an annoying unenjoyable shell. The flavors present aren’t enough to overtake that candy coating and what you wind up with is a sub par product.

M&Ms Milk Chocolate Bar: Almonds
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: This is a strictly better version of the peanuts version, although for the most part they are identical the almonds work better in a chocolate bar to accent the flavor, and the texture is improved as well.

M&Ms Milk Chocolate Bar: Crisp Rice
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This to me feels like an unnecessary addition. If you want to enjoy something like this you’d be better off purchasing a Nestle Crunch Bar. It’s disappointing, and doesn’t feel like a true to form delivery of either a chocolate bar, or crispy M&Ms.

M&Ms Milk Chocolate Bar: Peanuts
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: As someone who is not a big M&M fan I feel like this to me is a more sensible and comprehensive way to eat them. It’s a solid chocolate bar and a strict improvement on traditional peanut M&Ms.

M&Ms Mint Chocolate Bar: Crisp Rice
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try it
Comments: This to me is what the milk chocolate crisp rice bar should have been. The mint provides a depth to the flavor and no longer needs the crisp rice to play a primary role, which allows them to exist in the background as a sort of textural bonus. It’s not a good “crisp rice” bar, but it is a solid chocolate bar.

Twix Chocolate Milk
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try it.
Comments: A delicious chocolate milk drink that couldn’t really be paired with anything. It works best as like a standalone chocolate smoothie.

Melba’s Fixins

Apple Pie Soda
Rating: 2/10 — Value: Terrible — Verdict: Avoid
Rating: This tastes nothing like an apple pie and anything good. It’s like if someone puked into a bottle and capped it. I poured it down my drain. Horrid.

Birthday Cake Soda
Rating: 3/10 — Value: Terrible — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Just a bad cream soda with a gross sprinkle aftertaste. Does not taste anything like it should. Poured it down the drain.

Carrot Cake Soda
Rating: 3/10 — Value: Terrible — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Doesn’t taste like carrot cake at all. This is just a disgusting version of a pumpkin spice soda.

Cherries & Cream Soda
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: There is nothing in here that tastes like cream. It’s genuinely just a subpar artificial tasting cherry soda.

Coffee Cake Soda
Rating: 2/10 — Value: Terrible — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Seriously not good. Poured it down the drain. Does not taste like coffee cake. Does not taste like anything remotely tasty. Tastes like spoiled assholes.

Lemon Meringue Pie Soda
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This soda does capture the tartness of a lemon meringue pie, but like with all other Melba’s Fixins sodas it tries to mix cream soda to replicate a more complex flavor and in that way it falls short of its goal.

Peaches & Cream
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This does have a very distinct peach taste, but a completely nonexistent cream taste. You have to really fucking love peaches to think this is anything worth drinkable, because it tastes only like peaches — rine and all.

Strawberries & Cream Soda
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is one of the best from Melba’s that I have had so far. The Strawberry flavor reminds me of freshly picked strawberries mixed with sugar. As is usual the cream flavor falls short, but the strawberry flavor really does carry this is a fairly drinkable choice.

Strawberry Shortcake
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Strawberry flavor pulls through, but the shortcake just isn’t there. Honestly just go for the Strawberries & cream from the same brand if you’re looking for the best one to try: this is just an inferior copy.

Michael Angelo’s

Chicken Alfredo
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Broccoli and Alfredo don’t mix. The flavor is bland and boring, and the chicken is tough. Thin overcooked pieces of chicken. The container is not well packaged and doesn’t insulate the heat very well. Portion size is too small for the price asked, even when bought on sale.

Monster Energy

Java Monster: Salted Caramel
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Not a coffee guy and this didn’t change that. Tastes like cheap “coffee drink” with caramel flavoring, but not actual caramel.

Juice Monster: Mango Loco
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Mango flavor doesn’t really pull through. More juice than monster. I just think it’s inferior to their other juice monster products and seems like something a competitor would come out with to try and attack market share.

Ultra Fiesta
Rating: 10/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Stock It.
Comments: One of the best if not the best drink in the ultra line. It’s sweet but not overpowering like Ultra Red, so you can drink them consecutively. This and Zero Ultra have become my main stay house stocks.

Ultra Red
Rating: 9/10 — Value: Good—Verdict: Try It.
Comments: This is the pinnacle of energy drinks — outstanding flavor, unparalleled smoothness, and zero calories. There is nothing not to love here. Finding it at it’s standard price is difficult, but is incredibly worth it. It’s like fruit punch but better.

Ultra Rosa
Rating: 8/10 — Value Good — Verdict: Try it
Comments: This is basically zero ultra but with a hint of grapefruit. I’d say it’s nice as an alternative, but not a replacement as a daily drinker.

Ultra Violet
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Try It.
Comments: This is one of the staple ultra flavors for me. The grape taste is present but not overwhelming, and for a zero calorie drink it’s pretty darn good. The grape won’t be for everyone, but I’ll definitely keep a small stock to have as a personal alternative.

Zero Ultra
Rating: 10/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Stock It.
Comments: For zero calories this is an insanely impressive citrus drink. Especially in an energy drink format it’s even harder to achieve a proper taste (look at Rockstar for an example of how to do it wrong). Very pleasing. Very smooth.

Mott’s
Juice

100% Apple Juice: Original
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try it once.
Comments: When people think of apple juice this is what comes to mind. It’s a sort of sweetened “apple drink” more than what we would traditionally call a juice. It’s fine for what it is, but in my opinion it’s a completely inferior option to their “Natural Apple 100% Juice” variant. It tastes like something I would come to expect out of a juice box.

Natural Apple 100% Juice
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Incredible — Verdict: Stock It
Comments: Of all the apple juice I have tried this one is absolutely the cleanest tasting. A lot of apple juice tends to taste sugary and more like a juice blend or a juice “product” but this very genuinely just tastes like untampered with juice. “Pure” is a word that comes to mind when describing this.

Nestle

Coffee Crisp
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Try It
Comments: Normally not a fan of coffee but the other flavors present here offset the flavor. Price is high for quantity provided but makes sense as a novelty treat.

Ozark Mountain Bottleworks

Butter Beer
Rating: 10/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Stock It
Comments: This is the best butterscotch soda that I have tried to date. I was very impressed with this overall. It’s smooth, and sweet, and while I feel there is room for improvement I think this is kind of a standard setter for that genre of drink.

Cream Soda
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Very non traditional and unusual cream soda. Has a fruity hint to it that I found generally unpleasant. Should be classified and sold as something else. Not my thing.

Root Beer
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This really tasted more like a birch beer than a root beer, and for that reason I feel it makes a rather terrible root beer overall.

O-Zell

Orange Dreamsickle
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Rating: This tastes like the generic brand dreamsickle after it has sat in the freezer for way too long, and lost all of its flavor. There is no cream taste to this — just sort of an acidic citrus. This is just more of an authentic orange soda.

Pineapple Whip
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Try It
Comments: This is largely going to come down to whether you like the flavor of pineapple. This has a very fresh pineapple fruit flavor, but also has the smoothness that a soda needs. It’s quite good, and I’ll be stocking it as my current go-to pineapple drink.

Root Beer Float
Rating: 9/10 — Value: Incredible — Verdict: Stock It
Comments: This is the finest root beer I have had to date. It doesn’t taste like a root beer float, but if you’re planning to make a root beer float then this is the root beer you should be reaching for. It’s deep, rich, and the perfect strong counterbalance to an ice cream. Seriously good stuff.

Raze Energy

Apollo
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Nothing to say really. Sort of like Gronk. Just a meh energy drink.

Galaxy Burst
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Meh. Tropical mediocrity.

Guava Mango
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Try It
Comments: One of the more pleasant flavors, but price per can it’s not really worth a run of the mill energy drink. The fruits do definitely pull through — more so the mango.

Sour Gummy Worms
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Try It
Comments: It doesn’t really taste like gummy worms. More like sour apple. But it is actually better than Monster’s green take on it, so as far as I’m considered this is one that might be worth reordering.

Strawberry Colada
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Try It
Comments: I thought it was pretty average and didn’t really deliver on what it set out to. It has a Artificial strawberry flavor, but the colada barely pulls through. That typical “energy drink” taste is prevalent still. Maybe you’re into that.

Voodoo
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Average — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: just a run of the mill orange flavored energy drink. More caffeine, but flavor profile wise ultra sunrise does it better.

Palermo’s

Primo Thin Margherita Pizza
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This isn’t a bad little frozen pizza, but for the price you could actually buy a one topping large from most delivery places, where you’re going to get a much higher quality product. Not bad, but too expensive for what it is. If you can catch it on a BOGO or something then this would be worth a try.

Palisade

Peaches & Cream
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is really just a novelty if anything. It perfectly captures the tastes of an actual peach — rhine and all, but the taste of cream is absolutely nonexistent. This just takes like you’re drinking the outside of a peach, but only the outside.

Promised Land

Midnight Chocolate Whole Milk
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: For a small chocolate milk drink for your kids lunches this isn’t bad at all, but it’s inferior to even a classic Hershey syrup milk mix, and you’re paying a premium for the packaging.

Publix
Beverages

Old-fashioned Lemonade
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Avoid
This is just sub-par lemonade. The price is good for what it is, but ultimately it just tastes watered down and disappointing. Use your daily calorie consumption for something more satisfying and fulfilling.

Quaker

Rice Crisps: Apple Cinnamon
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Try It
Comments: I was pretty surprised by this snack. The rice crisp is actually quite a wonderful way to deliver a light aery sweetness. The calories on this are far quite reasonable. This is quite pleasant for what it is. Will buy again.

Rice Crisps: Caramel Corn
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Try It
Comments: This and Apple Cinnamon were the two flavors I was pleased with overall. For a low calorie sweet snack both of these deliver, and benefit from the rice crisp format. Will buy again.

Rice Crisps: Chocolate
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is not the chocolate flavor you are looking for. The rice crisp is simply not good at delivering heavier flavors, and chocolate is just not one of the ones you should have lightly dusted. Pass.

Rice Crisps: Sour Cream & Onion
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: it’s not bad, but this is really something you’re going to wish was a chip instead and I ascribe to the belief that if you’re going to eat something and wish it was something else that you should probably just eat the other thing rather than consuming sad calories.

Rice Crisps: Sweet Chili
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Just no. This flavor doesn’t work at all with a rice crisp. Bad combination and unpleasant to eat. Get a chip. Don’t disappoint yourself like I did. I thought this one would be the best of the brand and boy was I wrong.

Reign

Razzle Berry
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: not a bad Blueberry energy drink. Doesn’t taste strongly of that “energy drink” flavor. This could grow on me.

Rocket Fizz

Butter Soda
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: I was actually pretty impressed by this — I really thought this would be disgusting, but wound up being something I kept a small stock of in my house. This isn’t just a novelty either — it’s actually something you could drink semi regularly. It reminds me of a lighter buttered popcorn flavor without all that oil which brings you down later.

Candy Cane Train Holiday Soda
Rating: 4/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This does not taste like a candy cane. It just tastes like a bad cream soda with a hint of peppermint flavor. Really disappointing.

Chocolate Soda
Rating: 4/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This really fails to deliver the smooth chocolate taste you’re looking for in a drink. It’s mildly sweet and more bitter. I couldn’t finish a bottle. There might be some out there that it appeals to but largely I feel this fails as a chocolate soda.

Chocolate Soda with Banana & Real Cocoa
Rating: 4/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: A vaguely chocolate soda with the added taste of yellow hard candies. Save yourself the time and money if you’re looking for a banana flavored drink.

Chocolate Soda with Peanut Butter & Real Cocoa
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is definitely the best chocolate soda that Rocket Fizz produces but even so the chocolate flavor just brings everything down. The peanut butter here is quite pleasant — it’s a shame that it has to be used in this mixture.

Coconut Cream Lime Soda
Rating: 3/10 — Value: Terrible — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This has an incredibly light coconut flavor, no cream flavor, and an overwhelming amount of artificial lime flavor. Truly disappointing.

Cookies ‘N Cream Bites Soda
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Like a bad cream soda mixed with some chocolate flavors. Nothing like Cookies and Cream. Just poor.

Gene Autry Root Beer
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is a birch beer, and not a root beer. It’s the same Rocket Fizz birch beer formula rolled out into different bottles. Disappointing.

Judge Wapner Root Beer
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is a birch beer, and not a root beer. It has a bad aftertaste and it a shining example of how marketing can cause you to buy something dull, uninspired, and of subpar quality.

Peanut Butter Old Fashioned Soda
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Try it
Comments: I didn’t really enjoy this soda because it reminds me more of a bitter foreign style peanut butter and less like the sweet American peanut butter styles I am accustomed to. This doesn’t make the product necessarily bad, but it will only appeal to those who have an immense appreciate for the salty and the bitter.

Rocket Fizz: Black Licorice
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Just drink the Gross Gus Dragon Drool. It’s basically this but significantly better.

Rocket Fizz: Blue Cream
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is a really weird flavor. I don’t know what “blue” represents in this case, but the flavor of cream soda isn’t really detectable, and “blue” certainly doesn’t refer to something traditional like a blueberry. Overall it’s missable and nothing of value is lost.

Rocket Fizz: Cinnamon
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: This is the first soda that tastes like a candy that I’m actually fond of. It’s basically the fireball hard candy in soda form and it works surprisingly well. The only thing stopping this from being a 10/10 is the generic soda after taste that Rocket Fizz hasn’t managed to get out of its mixtures. The flavor is really wonderful, it’s a shame it has to fade away into something less impressive.

Rocket Fizz: Cotton Candy
Rating: 4/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Basically just sugar water. If this is cotton candy flavor then I have no idea what I was eating when I grew up in the carnivals.

Rocket Fizz: Green Apple Jalapeno
Rating: 3/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: I was actually really excited about trying this product but to my dismay it really let me down. The green apple doesn’t taste like its namesake — thing those really cheap green apple candies. There is a bit of heat from the Jalapeno flavors but overall it’s just a bad drink I would stay away from.

Rocket Fizz: Key Lime
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This doesn’t taste like key lime in the traditional sweet sense. This is quite literally a lime tasting soda and while Rocket Fizz should most certainly get points for coming close to the fruit flavor, unfortunately that doesn’t necessarily equate to a good product.

Rocket Fizz: Marshmallow
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try it
Comments: This is the best marshmallow soda I have had to date. The only thing is that it tastes kind of like a generic brand soda with a quality mallow flavor. I’d like to see a nice craft artisan company do something similar because this has a lot of potential to be quite good.

Rocket Fizz: Orange Cream
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: The orange flavor is not really as present in this as it needs to be. You have a sort of fanta orange flavor and a light cream taste and texture but overall this doesn’t really taste like what you expect with a dreamsicle style soda. Disappointing.

Rocket Fizz: Pineapple
Rating — Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Just drink O-Zell’s Pineapple Whip instead. It’s this but better.

Rocket Fizz: Root Beer Float
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: While this is a perfectly acceptable root beer for the price and taste this is really not something I’d encourage anyone to test — there are simply better root beers out here, and while this is certainly an acceptable one there is nothing individually remarkable about it.

Rocket Fizz: Strawberries & Cream
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: The cream in this soda is nonexistent but the Strawberry flavor does pull through fairly prevalently. Unfortunately it’s just not a great standalone flavor.

Rocket Fizz: Watermelon
Rating: 4/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Just no. Really fails to deliver a genuine watermelon flavor and again just tastes like bad artificial watermelon hard candy. I’m starting to think you shouldn’t trust a candy company to make soda, because they don’t understand the difference between the two.

The Monkees Banana Nut Soda
Rating: 3/10 — Value:Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is just a really bad butterscotch soda with hard yellow banana candy mixed in. Very disappointing.

The Original Fudge Brownie Cookie Dough Bites Soda
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Try It
Comments: While I didn’t enjoy this soda I can’t fault it too harshly — it delivers what it claims to be, it just does so a bit too effectively. The key element of a soda is that it is both flavorful and drinkable. The fudge cookie dough bites soda is flavorful, in that it tastes like fudge brownie cookie dough, but it’s not drinkable. Any more of a fourth of this bottle and you’re likely to puke from the sheer sweetness and lack of smoothness you expect in a soda.

The Original Red Velvet Cupcake Cookie Dough Bites Soda
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Doesn’t taste like red velvet, or cookie dough. Mostly just a poor chocolate soda with some cream soda flavors thrown in.

The Three Stooges Wise Guy Root Beer
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is the same birch beer mixture they advertise everywhere else but rebranded for the hundredth time. Skip it.

Wink Martindale’s Orange Passion Fruit Guava Soda
Rating: 3/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This doesn’t taste like fruit. It tastes like fruit smelling sock juice.

Russell Stover

Summer Dream: Banana Split
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This was definitely my favorite of the Summer Dream series, but overall it just falls flat for me. The chocolate is too thin and the marshmallow just does not work with the flavors selected. Think hard candy banana flavor.

Summer Dream: Peanut Butter Fluff
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: It’s just really disappointing peanut butter fluff sandwiched between super thin and tasteless chocolate flakes.

Summer Dream: Pina Colada
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: It tastes like what it claims to be, but the chocolate and marshmallow are simply not a great delivery mechanism. Bit disappointing.

Senor Rico

Creamy Custard
Rating: 4/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Probably the worst custard I have ever had. Took two bites and tossed it. Disappointing to say the least.

Rice Pudding
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Not good rice pudding but edible. I hesitate to actually call this pudding as it’s more like goopy milky rice slop.

Sparkling Ice

Black Raspberry
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: Just drink the clear American by the same name. Half the price and vastly superior.

Sioux City

Birch Beer
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Outstanding — Verdict: Stock It
Comments: there is no better birch beer on the market for the price. This is a smooth drink with a nice root-ey taste, but not overly so. In many ways it’s a superior option to a traditional root beer, but this is definitely more of a standalone drink than something you would want to use in a float.

Prickly Pear
Rating: 3/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This is a product that caused me to lose a little faith with the Sioux City brand. This is a really tart fruit drink. Even if you enjoyed the flavor I couldn’t imagine regularly drinking this, or ever having more than one bottle in a day. It’s an acidic niche flavor and not one that I’ll not seek out again.

Stewart’s

Orange ‘n Cream
Rating: 8/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Stock It
Comments: This product is the ideal choice for orange floats. It’s a very sweet soda that I couldn’t imagine as a daily drinker, but if kept in storage for a day where you want that perfect mix of orange and ice cream then you’ll find this as a life long selection.

Stouffer’s

Bowl-Fulls Chicken Bacon Ranch Pasta
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid.
Comments: it’s just ok. Started getting sick of it before I finished one meal and found myself wincing a bit on each bite. Price wise it’s overpriced for the quantity and quality, and doesn’t really deliver on the bacon aspect of the title.

Tastykake

Mini Doughnuts: Key Lime
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Try It
Comments: I typically find that pre packed doughnuts are quite the disappointment but these were a pleasant surprise. The flavor of the key lime gave the sponge center a fresh light overtone. I think this should become a permanent flavor for the line.

Mini Doughnuts: Powdered Sugar
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: It’s pretty much what you expect from a pre packaged sugar doughnut. The doughnuts are soft (but not moist), and the sweetness is a tad overbearing. The doughnut itself doesn’t really carry any discernible flavor to it. In my opinion strictly worse than the Key Lime variant.

Tommy Knocker Brewery

Almond Creme
Rating: 4/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: This tastes like almond milk mixed with a spoiled cream soda. It loses all the things that makes a cream soda smooth and wonderful, and in return it gains a nutty flavor that makes me sad inside.

Totino’s
Pizza Rolls

Bacon & Pepperoni
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Try Once
Comments: This is really what the Pepperoni version should actually be by default. You aren’t getting much cheese and sauce unfortunately, but the meat has such a nice genuine texture, and the flavor tastes like what genuine pepperoni should be. This is a frozen pizza snack I could eat again by myself.

Cheese
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: the flavor profile and texture is better than the other traditional Totino’s meat options, but overall this fails as a pizza snack due to a lack of sauce. As calorie intensive and unhealthy this is for you I would expect a lot more.

Combination
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: this makes up for the pepperoni’s lack of meat, but suffers the same faults in regards to texture and taste. The cheese feels even less present in this product, but the improvement in flavor makes up for it.

Macaroni & Cheese with Bacon
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try Once
Comments: the best way I could describe this product is that it tastes exactly like a ham and cheese hot pocket, except it has small pieces of chopped macaroni inside. Try it for the novelty, but don’t plan for it to be a freezer staple, or you’ll be as disappointed as I was.

Pepperoni
Rating: 5/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: pepperoni should be the backbone of a pizza company’s product line, but instead I find this to be the worst of the bunch. Underwhelming, lacking in meat, nearly undetectable cheese flavors. Fails on all fronts.

Supreme
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Good — Verdict: Try Once
Comments: this more closely reminds me of what a frozen pizza snack should be. The meat is lacking, but the flavors of the veggies really elevate this into a snack that can stand on its own. I am pleased with the texture, and if you enjoy the veggie flavor as I do — then this could be your “Pizza Roll” of choice.

Virgil’s

Black Cherry Cream Soda
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
Comments: A few years ago I would say that I really disliked anything that was black cherry flavored, but Virgil’s and IBC has changed my mind. This doesn’t really taste like a black cherry cream soda, more than it just tastes like a sweetened and smooth black cherry cola. If you’re looking for a sweet pleasant flavor then go with IBC, but if you’re trying to enjoy deep black cherry flavor then Virgil’s captures that taste in a pleasant way.

Walmart

Clear American Ice: Black Raspberry
Rating: 9/10 — Value: Incredible — Verdict: Stock It
Comments: Incredibly cheap for what this product is, and far better than the name brand Sparkling Ice counterpart. It’s really quite delightful. Highly recommended.

Wrigley Company

Sweet Heat Skittles
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Adequate — Verdict: Try It
- Blazin Mango (5/10)
- Fiery Watermelon (8/10)
- Flamin’ Orange (7/10)
- Lemon Spark (4/10)
- Sizzlin’ Strawberry (7/10)
Comments: These really deliver an interesting alternative to the classic Skittles flavors. While I would not purchase them again, they are something I feel good to have been a part of. There is a distinctive nasal hit in some of these flavors, although some fall short of their intention spectacularly. A good attempt.

Sweet Heat Starbursts
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
- Fiery Watermelon (6/10)
- Flamin’ Orange (6/10)
- Pipin’ Pineapple (7/10)
- Strawberry Mango (4/10)
Comments: Whereas the Sweet Heat Skittles provide an earnest and interesting attempt at changing up the Skittles status quo, the Sweet heat Starbursts do not manage to achieve the same level. Nothing in this is remarkable, or packs either the heat purported, or a burst of flavor. The best word to describe this would be either unremarkable or passable.

Yoplait

Oui French Yogurt: Raspberry
Rating: 7/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Try It
Comments: it’s a different kind of yogurt but does give off the feeling of quality. The flavors are somewhat strong (think greek yogurt), but the fruit is pleasant, and it has a cream like texture. Overall I’m excited to try other products in the line and see if one is the better pick for me.

Oui French Yogurt: Vanilla
Rating: 6/10 — Value: Poor — Verdict: Avoid
Comments: The consistency here is great but the vanilla flavor is nothing to write home about and not strong or sweet enough. Skip this one and try other Oui flavors if you are looking for a treat of this kind.

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Restaurant Specific Menus

7/11

— Big Bite (Chili/Cheese/Onion): 6/10
— Burrito: Beef & Bean: 6/10
— Burrito: Beef, Bean, & Green Chile: 6/10
— Chimichanga: Chicken Fajita: 3/10
— Slurpee: Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries Slurpee: 7/10
— Slurpee: Pina Colada: 7/10

Beef O’ Bradys

— Traditional Wings (Boom Boom): 5/10
— Traditional Wings (Beef’s Signature Buffalo): 6/10
— Traditional Wings (Honey Barbeque): 7/10
— Traditional Wings (Spicy Garlic): 7/10
— Traditional Wings (Sweet Jalapeno): 9/10
— Traditional Wings (Teriyaki): 6/10

Burger King

— Chicken Fries (sweet and sour): 7/10
— Double Cheeseburger: 6/10
— Frozen Coke: 5/10
— Hershey’s Sundae Pie: 5/10
— Onion Rings: 5/10

Capital Tacos

— Mexican Street Corn: 5/10
— Mini Churros: 5/10
— Raspberry Chimi: 7/10
— Taco: Andre 3000: 8/10
— Taco: Big Kahuna: 9/10
— Taco: Cluckin Kahuna — 7/10
— Taco: Dr. Fauci’s Orders — 7/10
— Taco: Hen House: 6/10
— Taco: Ready Defender: 7/10
— Taco: Simone Pure: 7/10
— Taco: Triple Threat:7/10
— Traditional Fried Mexican Cheesecake: 8/10

China Fun

— Crab Rangoons: 5/10
— Fried Rice: 5/10
— General Tso Chicken: 5/10
— White Rice: 3/10

Dairy Queen

— Blizzard: Butterfinger: 7/10
— Blizzard: Harvest Berry Pie: 7/10
— Blizzard: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup: 8/10
— Blizzard: Royal New York Cheesecake: 10/10
— Cheeseburger: 7/10
— Chicken Strip Basket: 4/10
— Chili Cheese Dog: 6/10
— Crispy Chicken Sandwich: 6/10
— Cheese Curds: 6/10
— Double with Cheese: 7/10
— DQ® Bakes!® Chicken Bacon Ranch: 6/10
— DQ® Bakes!® Pretzel Sticks with Zesty Queso: 9/10
— Flamethrower Grill Burger: 7/10

First Watch

— Blueberry Muffin: 3/10
— Hot Chocolate: 5/10
— Market Hash: 8/10
— Million Dollar Bacon: 10/10
— Watermelon Wake-Up: 7/10

IHOP

— Kickin’ Maple Chicken Breakfeast: 7/10
— Pancakes: Creme Brulee: 6/10

The Hot Tomato of Ruskin

— Angry Chicken: 7/10
— Chocolate Cannoli: 4/10
— Deviled Crab: 3/10
— Fish Sandwich: 6/10
— Potato Ball: 5/10
— Mojo Chicken: 5/10
— Monte Cristo: 8/10

Tijuana Flats

— Atom Bombs: 10/10
— Brookies: 5/10
— Churros: 6/10
— Cookie Dough Flautas: 8/10
— Dos Tacos (Blackened Chicken): 8/10
— Dos Tacos (Steak): 7/10
— Megajuana Burrito (Beef): 6/10

Tropical Smoothie Cafe

— All American Wrap: 8/10
— BBQ Pork Quesadilla: 7/10
— Buffalo Chicken Wrap: 7/10
— Caprese Chicken Sandwich: 7/10
— Caribbean Jerk Wrap: 6/10
— Cookie: Chocolate Chunk: 4/10
— Cookie: Snickerdoodle: 6/10
— Kale and Apple Slaw: 2/10
— Peanut Butter Crunch Flatbread: 3/10
— Smoothie: Bahama Mama: 10/10
— Smoothie: Beach Bum (Dark Chocolate): 7/10
— Smoothie: Beach Bum (White Chocolate): 9/10
— Smoothie: Blimey Limey: 7/10
— Smoothie: Blueberry Bliss: 7/10
— Smoothie: Jettie Punch: 8/10
— Smoothie: Kiwi Quench: 8/10
— Smoothie: Mango Magic: 7/10
— Smoothie: Peanut Butter Cup: 5/10
— Smoothie: Paradise Point: 7/10
— Smoothie: Pomegranate Plunge: 7/10
— Smoothie: Sunrise Sunset: 7/10
— Southwest Wrap: 6/10
— Three Cheese Chicken Quesadilla: 6/10

Village Inn

— Biscuits and Gravy: 5/10
— Chicken Fried Steak and Eggs: 6/10
— Dessert: Carrot Cake: 6/10
— Dessert: Coconut Creme: 6/10
— Dessert: Lemon Supreme: 4/10
— Dessert: Strawberry Rhubarb: 3/10
— Marbled Rye Reuben: 6/10

Willie Jewell’s Old School Bar-B-Q

— Banana Pudding: 4/10
— Cole Slaw: 4/10
— Country Corn Fritters: 9/10
— Hush Puppies: 4/10
— Mac N Cheese: 6/10
— Mashed Potatoes: 6/10
— Peach Cobbler: 6/10
— Sandwich: Beef Brisket: 6/10
— Stackers: Slawpy: 7/10
— Texas Toast: 5/10

WaWa

— Mac and Cheese: 8/10
— Milkshake: Jolly Rancher: 6/10
— Strawberry Vanilla Yogurt Parfait: 6/10

Wendy’s

— French Fries: 5/10
— Frosty (Chocolate): 6/10
— Grilled Chicken Wrap: 5/10
— Spicy Asiago Club: 6/10
— Spicy Chicken Wrap: 7/10
— Son of Baconator: 6/10
— Sauce (S’AWESOME): 9/10

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